


Emotions of an Archfey

by Ada_Rose



Series: Living Long Enough [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Artagan-centric, Artie’s hard to write ok?, Conflicted Artagan, Dark Jester Lavorre, Dark Mighty Nein, Emotions, Evil Mighty Nein au, Feelings, Gen, Jester Lavorre-centric, Multi, Other, POV Outsider, no betas we die like men, possible ooc, pov Artagan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ada_Rose/pseuds/Ada_Rose
Summary: Artagan has been experiencing some new emotions recently, and it all leads back to one Jester Lavorre.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & The Traveler
Series: Living Long Enough [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971823
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	Emotions of an Archfey

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea for a long time now. In the few evil!MN concepts there are, it’s always Jester being influenced by an evil Artagan. But what if it was Artagan that was being dragged along by an evil Jester? Also, apologies for possible OOC, Artagan is hard to write, especially in his current situation. And canon Jester would never do the things evil Jester does. That’s why we call it an AU.

Artagan was a selfish creature by nature. He’s always been aware of that fact and it never really bothered him before. He was an archfey, an immortal being of chaos. Why would he care about anyone else’s feelings or desires? That’s why meeting Jester was such a surprise, for the first time Artagan found himself caring about someone who wasn’t him. It was the best and scariest thing that happened in his long life, this little blue tiefling girl who was capable of so much chaos. 

He didn’t know what to think of the Mighty Nein at first. They were loud, colorful, brash, blunt, and several other words could be used to describe them, both good and bad. But Jester loved them, loved them so much that she willingly put her life in danger multiple times to save them. And through her love, he started caring about them as well. Jester was and always will be his favorite of course, but Artagan found himself looking at this strange group of adventures and found himself wanting them to succeed, to be happy. It was terrifying, having your emotions be so connected to someone else’s. Was this how mortals felt all the time? Perhaps they deserved more credit than Artagan gave them. 

It was this strange new feeling of caring that led him to his current problem: he was worried.  _ Worried.  _ Such an awful feeling with such an ugly name. He has been worried about himself before, but for someone else? That was somehow even worse. Almost worse than theatre. 

Artagan doesn’t know why he’s feeling like this and he wants it to go away, the sooner the better. He doesn’t even know- no. No actually he knows exactly why he’s worried about Jester and her friends. He didn’t want to admit it, but recently they’ve been different. Angrier, cruler, more ruthless and prone to solve their issues through violence than words. And when they did use words it was less genuine, more manipulative. And Artagan knows what manipulation looks like, he’s a master at it himself. He didn’t know why this change was happening, and if he was honest, he’s not entirely sure he wants to know. But if there was one emotion he was most familiar with, it would be curiosity. 

So one night in the wizard’s- Caleb’s- tower, Artagan appeared to his first worshipper and closest friend. 

“Artie!”, Jester greeted with her usual glee, “You’re actually here! It’s been such a long time.”

“Indeed it has, Jester.”, Artagan smiled, trying to hide his...nervousness? He was nervous now?

“Isn’t this place amazing? Caleb did such a cool job making all the rooms. Oh! I bet if you asked, he can make one for you too.”

“I’ll think about it”, the archfey sat down next to her on the bed and took off his hood, “Jester, we need to talk.”

Jester’s smile faded, her voice now full of concern, “Is everything ok, Artie?”

“Everything is perfect. It’s just- well- I-”, he can do this. Can he do this? How do people do this? 

He wants to say ‘I’m worried about you’, but he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat, refusing to come out. Like his own nature as a creature of misdirection was preventing him from making such a blunt statement. 

So instead, he grinned and said, “It’s just been so long since we really had a one-on-one conversation and I’ve been feeling nostalgic for the old days.”

Jester immediately perked up, going into how she missed it too and then rambling about the Nein’s latest adventure. As Artagan listened, he felt his worries fade. Why was he so worked up in the first place? This was Jester, she wasn’t violent or cruel. He’s being ridiculous. Artagan let himself enjoy Jester’s company for the next hour, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that’s screaming at him to run. 

After that night with Jester, he left her for a while. A good trait of the Mighty Nein was that he trusted them to look after her when he couldn’t. He knows Jester can take care of herself, but it’s always a comfort that she’s not alone. And when he returned, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t what he saw. 

Alfield was in flames. A giant tear into the abyss was in the sky, allowing demons of all kinds to escape their home plane and attack the first innocent people they saw. Artagan appeared behind the Mighty Nein as they looked down at the burning city. 

‘Why aren’t they doing anything?’, the archfey wondered. The adventuring party stood with their back to him, clinging onto each other like lifelines. They made no move to stop the demon horde, didn’t flinch as screams of agony filled the air. 

“Jester?”, he called, hesitant. 

His cleric turned and looked at him, “Artie”, she separated herself from her friends and approached him.

Artagan looked back at Alfield, then back at her, “What’s going on?”

Jester smiled. Oh how he loved that smile, “We’re saving the world.”

“What?”

“We realized something. The world is pretty fucked up, you know? So we thought, hey why not start over? So we talked to this god Tharizdun and he said he can help us!”, she narrowed her eyes and frowned, “What’s wrong? I thought you liked chaos?”

“Jester this- this isn’t chaos. This is destruction.”

“What’s the difference?”

Artagan looked at her and it hit him like a sack of bricks. A new emotion, one that didn’t creep up slowly like care or worry. It came all at once with no mercy, giving him no time to prepare himself. Fear. He was afraid. He was afraid of  _ her.  _

He teleported away. As far as he can get. He didn’t know where and he didn’t care, he just needed to get  _ away from her _ . 

***

Months passed before he saw her again. The Mighty Nein went on, destroying more cities, gaining power and allies through their deal with the Chained Oblivion. Apparently a new group of adventures have sworn to take them down, but Artagan didn’t really pay attention to that part. When he finally worked up the courage to face her again, she was different. When she saw him, she didn’t smile or jump up to greet him. She just looked at him.

“Are you leaving me?”, Jester asked. 

He should. He doesn’t have the strength to stop her, but he should leave. Flee into the feywild he has deaded for so long and never come back out. But while he was afraid of her, he was more afraid of losing her. 

“I would never leave you”, he said truthfully.

She stood up and hugged him, and against everything his mind was screaming at him, he hugged her back. 

Because the thing is, Artagan can try to change. He can care and worry all he likes, but at the end of the day he was still Artgan. He was still just selfish. 


End file.
